This is the beginning of my blog, I'm sure there will be more to come. So let me explain what has brought me to a blogging point in my life. I've exhausted the thought of writing my own personal journal or drawing fancy little pictures to describe how I feel but I feel like this would be a better way to document my ups, downs and in betweens.
I realized one day after a large consumption of caffeine that I had this sudden urge to express myself on paper or should I say a web blog. I was reading about how this woman has made quite the career for herself blogging away about her life, this is not my intention to profit or make myself special just a way to free myself of everyday thoughts. I would say this woman impressed me with her ability to express her every feeling into her blog, this got me to thinking wow what a relief to get all that off your mind at the end of the day.
So enough said let me fill this blog with a little bit about myself. Since this is my first time this may be a bit lengthy, but I will do my best to make this as interesting as possible. My biggest challenges in life right now are juggling a demanding job and family all at the very same time. This never was an issue before because I had it pretty darn easy I was a stay at home mom, I cleaned I would cook and make sure everyone had happy little smiles on their faces but not anymore. The days of freedom to wake up late and stay up at my leisure are long gone faded memories.
I work in the IT field short for (Information Technology). This means that if anyone has a question no matter if it has to do with my job, I'm the one with the answers. What does this code mean on my cell phone? Why won't the vending machine give me change? Will you change my lightbulb at my desk? My day is consumed with every sort of question you could imagine. I often ask myself "when do I get to ask someone for help?' I feel like I always have the answer for others making myself fall deeper and deeper into this black hole of exhaustion.
When I work I hear my name all day when I'm home I hear mommy,mommy all night mixed with the hey babies from my beloved husband. I have contemplated changing my name but this would probably lead to more nonsense questions that I just down have time to answer. I'm overwhelmed and I feel this has led me no choice but to vent this is why I'm here.
I currently live in a box I mean apartment, and this has been my residence for going on 6 plus years. I do not like it here at all, this is not what I had envisioned for myself living in a space equal to oprah winfreys closet. I make sacrifices for my children and this is one of them I trade the house for a stabilized learning environment while my husband and I work. This will all change I know but right now it feels like a rut.
Now that I have described my job and living arrangements let me get into a little more detail about my family. My daughter is now 6 and she has what I like to think of as an old soul. She has a memory that would take your breath away, she can dance like there is fire burning in her heart and the sweetest little hugs and kisses. She is on of the reasons I managed to get through my darkest times. My other child will be turning four in a few months he has the energy of 10 children all bunched up into one. He is lovable, excitable, and finds a way to test my patience at least 300 times on a daily basis. He has baby blue eyes that suck you right in and make it ever so hard to ever get too uspet. My son is the reason I've learned patience.
At last there is my husband of over 6 years. He is the person that taught me to truly love. He is my heart, my backbone my soul. He loves me more than I love myself and that is a pretty darn big job. I suffer from anxiety and depression quite a bit and he has always been there to pick my spirits up when most needed. Like any other couple we have are good days and bad days, but we always find ourselves right back in one anothers arms asking for forgiveness. I see myself with him for the rest of my life and respect him enough that he would never break my heart.
This is a very brief description into my life and I could go into much more detail but I do not feel like this should be priority over the 30 loads of laundry and special moments with my little ones. I plan on returning quite frequently to give updates on my days but never plan to make my blogs this winded.
If you are reading this by chance I'm not usually this boring I have quite the sense of humor and this blog does not bring this to light maybe another day when thoughts are not flowing though my head like a mad woman.
Take care and I wish you well!
*Wind Me Up*
